Are you ever angry with your spouse? Most of us can answer yes. Because we are all human, anger is an acceptable human emotion.
However, while anger is not necessarily bad, it can have an adverse effect on your marriage if it’s not dealt with properly.
What to do and not to do to manage your anger.
You may believe that healthy couples don’t get mad at each other, or that they “shouldn’t”. It’s time to let go of that belief. All couples fight. According a Marriage Counsellor that all couples fight. Even healthy couples can sometimes get angry, yell, or have heated rows.
In many cases, anger can be helpful for partners. Uncomfortable? Absolutely. But it is very useful! Sometimes anger acts as a catalyst to help married partners address unresolved issues.
It’s not easy to discuss an underlying issue and the anger that it causes, but it is much more cost-effective than doing it. Also, unresolved or suppressed anger can lead to resentment as well as stress in a marriage. This is very dangerous for health.
Once you have agreed that your spouse may occasionally be angry, the next step is to make sure you are expressing your anger properly. These are some examples of things you should not do when feeling angry.
Use broad generalizations and assumptions (“You always do that!”)
Use sarcasm and insults, shame, blame tactics, and threats (including threats to divorce, suicidal threats, and harm to your partner)
Show aggression by shouting, throwing things, or engaging in other aggressive behavior
Act or speak when your emotions are extremely strong and heightened
These unhealthy responses won’t bring about any positive change, but they will hurt you and your spouse, as well as your children, who will be witnesses to their actions. Here are some better ways to express, communicate and respond to anger: –
Try to understand each other
This should be as specific as possible. Do you get angry at your spouse’s actions or inactions? Do you get angry at another spouse and take it out on them? Are you mad because you made an error in your assumption? Are you mad because of an emotional wound that was triggered or because you didn’t tell your spouse the truth about what’s bothering you?
Find the cause of your anger. Be curious. Open-mindedness is key. Be patient with yourself as you explore. While you don’t have to know everything right away, it is important to take some time to reflect later on the situation to gain insight. Recognizing why you are angry is the first step to addressing it and moving on.
Forgive
Although it sounds easy, be open to forgiving your spouse. Even healthy couples can get into heated and anger-inducing arguments. Healthy couples are able to forgive and forget the little things. Healthy couples are also able to express anger in a constructive way and try to understand their source.
Take advice from an expert Marriage Counsellor
Sometimes things are gets worst between couples due to anger issues, lack of communication, and lack of attention and they can’t resolve it. This is the biggest reason for the end of a relationship. A Marriage Counsellor plays the biggest role in your life. Who understands the root of the issue and observes what you and your partner want from your married life? After that expert will treat you and gives wings to your married life to the new journey where you and your partner live a healthy and happy life.